Take a peek behind the scenes of Mirabela
Ever wondered what it’s like to be a matchmaker in the 21st century? Here’s a snapshot of just one day in the life of Mirabela Executive Dating’s founder and CEO, Maria Mirabela.
7am – Starting point
My alarm rings and it’s time to shower.
My 7-year-old daughter is sleeping. She’s got school today, so I prep her lunch and start on her breakfast. While her eggs are cooking, my Greek coffee reaches boiling point. The aromas are delicious and my day is officially ready to begin.
Time to check my calendar. I have a 10am meeting – straight after school drop off. I might have to take this one in the car.
After waking my daughter, she sits down in front of the iPad and (very) slowly grazes through breakfast.
While she’s doing that, It’s time to get myself ready, a ritual I’ve come to enjoy most in the day.
How I get ready in the morning is so important because it sets the tone for the rest of the day. Taking the time to carefully choose my outfit – being mindful as I do my hair and make-up – is a ritual that’s just for me, but impacts everyone I see.
I put the effort in because when I look great, I feel great. I feel confident and my clients feel confident in me.
8:30am – The race to drop off
Time to go!
Hustling my daughter out the door, calling out the list of things we need to have before leaving: Water bottle, school bag, workbook, appointment book, EFTPOS machine! We round it all up and head out the door.
Walking my daughter to the school gate, I notice how different I look compared to the other mothers on drop-off duty. They’re in mum-jeans and singlets or athleisure wear. But I’m in my Wheels and Dollbaby dress with matching stilettos. Another favourable moment of mine.
Waving goodbye to my daughter, I switch from mum-mode to Matchmaker-mindset, and off to the city I go.
9am – Conversations in the car
I receive a phone call from one of my female clients who had a date I’d arranged the night before.
“The whole time he spoke about himself,” she says. “I was lucky to get a word in…”
Oh no… I knew this man. He was lovely, sweet, sensitive, and very interesting. We’d had consultations about appropriate
date behaviour, as it’s been a long while since he’d last been on one.
She mentioned going to a nice cafe garden nearby, trying to show that she is happy to take the lead on plans. He said “No” and took her to a café of his choice.
She asked if they should have a glass of wine… not wanting to seem like a drinker. But he was quick to answer “No, let’s have water.“
Obviously trying to ensure there were no silent gaps during the date, he spoke about his ex – A LOT. He also bragged about his kids. But didn’t ask her anything about herself. Every time she attempted to mention something about herself, he immediately dismissed it.
He didn’t even offer to pour her a glass of water…
She says “He had no self awareness at all!!”
There were just so many mistakes. Including going against the law of dating by consistently talking about your ex and bragging about yourself for several hours.
It’s just too much detail for your first or second date. If you’re not careful, it turns the evening into more like an interview process than a date.
Worst of all, he forgot it was meant to be a two-way exchange of information. Dismissing the other person on a date and not allowing time for them to open up about themselves is the biggest no-no.
I know everyone has a past. And when you’re a very proud parent, it’s very easy to speak about your little ones. But you can’t forget why you are there.
You’re there to find out who the other person is. See if there’s a connection, a spark. That’s all you need to do. I provide all the relevant background information in the initial briefing.
I was sorry her date didn’t go well – and said I’d pass on the feedback and get back to her.
Unfortunately, when people haven’t dated in a while or worked on themself, this often happens on a first date.
10am – Coaching time
I arrive at a café in Surry Hills to meet a new client – a divorced gentleman with two kids, two houses, a yacht on the harbour, and a desire to meet his next Mrs. X.
After chatting for 15 minutes, I know I can definitely work with this man. He’s handsome for his age and seems well-adjusted to his divorce.
But when we get into the details of what he’s looking for, it starts to become a very different conversation. Like so many others before him, he’s made the monumental misjudgment that I am willing to ‘fix him up’ with some young honey upon his request.
His request? “Tall, slim, model-esque, blonde – preferably no older than 32.”
Did I mention that this gentleman was in his late 50s? Yes, he’s attractive, would a woman in her 20s view this man as the right man for her…not likely. Remembering that this is a service for men and women looking for life partners and love. Not so much looking for the next sugar-daddy.
This dilemma is familiar territory for me. It’s coaching time.
He has a good heart – one that’s been broken by previous relationships. He thinks being with someone younger will be easier, simpler.
It‘s my job to guide him in the right direction. We talk it over and he walks away with a new viewpoint. And a renewed confidence in finding someone who will love and support him the way he wants – even if they’re not 20!
Keen to read more about a day in the life of a matchmaker? Stay tuned for Part 2!
In the meantime, if you’d like to contact me, feel free to give me a call on (02) 8205 7776