Have you ever been told, ‘that’s not where you’re going to meet a partner’?… we have. But at Mirabela Executive Dating, we don’t just tell you what not to do, we tell you why you shouldn’t. The Mirabela team have done the leg work, and I mean, we have dated a lot! We have some insights on where NOT to date.

The Coffee Shop Randevu 

Building your dream-partner over your morning coffee.

We all know the old saying, don’t **** where you eat. Well, if you LOVE your barista, you should never date where you caffeinate! 

Where not to date

Dating from your favourite cafe

There are a multitude of reasons why we should stay away from the local shop, I know it sounds romantic… It starts with little looks and a tiny smile as you rush in and out of the cafe, one day the barista hands you the wrong coffee by ‘accident’, and a giggly introduction is made. 

You both start to spend a little bit more time at the cafe than normal, just to get in that extra bit of casual-light conversation. He follows you to the car and asks you for your number and BAM, a date is born.  

There’s an odd attraction to the strangers we see for a moment everyday. it’s massively due to the idea that he/she can be anyone; they can be the person of your dreams, your total fantasy, and it can be as real as you want it to be… what happens when you do go on that date is, the expectations you have can never be met. No person can ever be your exact and ideal fantasy, and so the relationship is doomed before it starts and thus, you are left feeling disappointed. 

This is where you should not date. 

The Office Romance

Makes total sense, we spend soo much time together!

I’ll start by saying that I am a big fan of the office romantic. It is sexy, it can be sensual, and ultimately, it’s a fantasy. 

Most of the time, it is convenient! Especially for those who are generally tied to the office space, you’re spending most of your time there. Where / when are you supposed to be meeting people outside of the office, right? It makes sense. 

Before you go jumping at the chance to date a colleague, consider this first… 

Where not to date

Dating in the office

Your work is your personal space – if you start to date someone in the office, particularly if you’re in the same department, you have no real YOU time. Everything that happens, they are either a part of or hear about it before you can share it with them. 

You can’t show favouritism. Once your colleagues know that you are dating, you are instantly under scrutiny and every decision you make is being judged. This can make either person super self-conscious and act in a way that is not really them.

I’ve observed a partner put down their partner in the office just to show that they don’t ‘favour’ them, needless to say this causes great strife in any relationship. 

This is where you should not date. 

 

The Lustly Friendship Group 

Some of the best relationships are built on friendship, but you need to really consider this one before jumping in…

Controversial, I know but how many awkward situations have we been in where two people can’t stand in the same room, or the conversation shifts to ensure that one party doesn’t get offended by the content. 

I will caveat that it is okay to date people that your friends know from other friendship groups, here you are less connected and there are fewer voices around you telling you what you should/shouldn’t be doing.

More often than not, two people in a friendship circle find themselves closer than expected. It’s common. You share so much more of yourself with a friend that you trust. You also allow yourself to really know the other person, and as their friend, you don’t judge and cut for their choices, but you choose to accept them for who they are and support them anyway. This is actually a beautiful foundation for a relationship, but a lot of the time, people confuse friendship and lust for romantic connections. This is where it gets tricky and waters muddy. 

I see it now, you will secretly see each other, this is sexy and romantic. You then come out to a friend or two and the news spreads throughout the group. Suddenly, you’re being celebrated because in reality, your friends were waiting for this to happen all along. This can actually accelerate the relationship before you or your partner might be ready. Once the sex dies down, the excitement of a secret romance is shot and the arguments begin, you start to realise that the friendship you valued so much is being lost by all these confused emotions. This is a rollercoaster and ultimately, if it ends the friendship is never quite the same and your friends are subject to awkward dinner parties and celebrations. 

Don’t get me wrong, there are some couples that really do work out. The love is there and it is strong. These are the people that end up dating, less for the lust and curiosity and more for the understanding of who that person is and the want to really be with them, long term. If it’s anything less than that, I’d say STAY AWAY. 

This is where you should not date. 

Where not to date

Dating in the friendship group

 

Stay tuned for the next blog where we’ll tell you where you CAN date.

About the Author: Maria Mirabela
As an old-fashioned romantic, I believe in unconditional love. I believe that finding love is one of the most important decisions you will ever make. As an executive dating service and a personal matchmaker, I am proud to boast a 95% success rate!